Author: Macky Cruz
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A Reading History
Hello, I’m back. I finished the last edits to Pangkantong Gabay sa Pagiging Ganap, a Tagalog novel set in the end-of-the-world hysteria of 1999, and shipped it out to someone who will at some point decide whether they want to edit my work or not. Then comes pitching/querying, yadda yadda. Tradpub or indie, marketing, yadda.…
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Why I Was “Gone”
(I took this picture in Singapore. It’s a painting by Jose Joya called “A Dimension of Fear.” I saw it and thought, “Yep.”) Sa totoo lang, I don’t really like talking about what happened. Not because it’s painful or shameful for some reason or what pero kasi that for months after the incident, just thinking…
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39
I should probably just get over this push-and-pull of whether or not I should go back to blogging by coming up with something first draft-y to get it over with. Yesterday was my 39th birthday, which was as good a time as any to not start blogging again. I had seafood dumplings, sushi, and okonomiyaki…
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Isa na Namang Hindi Inaasahang Fast-Forward
I can’t. I can’t explain it to you. I thought I was doing better. I thought I had a grip on it. I thought I had finally acquired the kind of audacity it takes to actually be in the world, to not just be its wise-cracking commentator and occasional partner in crime. But that’s the…
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On Keeping a Notebook (with Apologies to Joan Didion)
I’m 15 pages away from the end of my red comp book, which I have started filling up with three to six pages of fountain-pen-scribbled morning ramblings since June 15 of this year. I have impulsively titled the notebook UNPACKING in teal marker because there was space for a label. It was one of three…
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Mga Natutunan Ko sa Philippine Readers and Writers Festival 2018 Day 1
Kakagaling ko lang kahapon sa unang araw ng Philippine Readers and Writers Festival dahil may katropa akong nasa isa sa mga panel nung umaga, at ang dami kong opinyon. 1. Ang daming pera ng NBS, an understatement Although nakakakilig ang venue dahil nasa Raffles Makati ang festival, at mahuhulaan mong pinaglaanan ng pera ang pagrenta…
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Munting Laban (Ganito Ba Mag-Free Verse?)
Para sa mga katropang nasasabihang malungkot nang “walang dahilan” I. Paano ba kasi mawala? Isang umaga, ang mawala na lang, nang matapos na ‘to. Ang ‘di maipaliwanag na bigat sa dibdib. Gusto ko na’ng mamatay Ang galit sa kamao, ang hirap pigilan. T@ng!na mo gago ka, Pero mahal magbasag. Tapos ikaw pa magliligpit. Naiibsan lamang panandalian, ng…
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Random Return of the Comeback
So gusto ko lang markahan ang araw kung kailan na-realize ko na mahalaga pala ang pagdesisyunan agad ang framing at POV bago simulang tahakin ang pagsusulat ng isang kwento. Kwento ko lang. So matagal ko na nililigawan ang kwentong ‘to, mga tatlong buwan na rin. At least itong version ng kwentong ito na gusto ko…
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Peeling Over-Ear Headphone Cushions
I once took pride in myself buying 99-peso earphones (the really old Creative ones that play mono because hey no time for a splitter) from the Octagon Superstore and making do until it gives up on me, which is, because 99 pesos, fairly fast. I’m notorious for buying really bad audio stuff because I know…
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The Inevitable Backslide
To make myself feel better about myself, I’m going to say this was inevitable. That anybody on a journey towards taking better care of oneself (one’s self? BAH! autocorrect in your heads, mofos) will experience these strange uncalled for pauses in routine that feel daunting. See, my last update was Day 28. That was ONE…