Personal memories, journal entries out of time.
Nagka-Covid ako noong June hanggang early July. Teorya ko ay nakuha ko ito noong nag-CR ako bago manood ng Furiosa isang Sabado. Pagdating ng Lunes ng gabi, tila may naramdaman akong pangangati ng lalamunan. Pero dahil nasa periphery na ito ng nalalapit na mens, as usual, hindi ko masyado ito…
Leave a commentHello, I’m back. I finished the last edits to Pangkantong Gabay sa Pagiging Ganap, a Tagalog novel set in the end-of-the-world hysteria of 1999, and shipped it out to someone who will at some point decide whether they want to edit my work or not. Then comes pitching/querying, yadda yadda.…
Leave a comment(I took this picture in Singapore. It’s a painting by Jose Joya called “A Dimension of Fear.” I saw it and thought, “Yep.”) Sa totoo lang, I don’t really like talking about what happened. Not because it’s painful or shameful for some reason or what pero kasi that for months…
Leave a commentI can’t. I can’t explain it to you. I thought I was doing better. I thought I had a grip on it. I thought I had finally acquired the kind of audacity it takes to actually be in the world, to not just be its wise-cracking commentator and occasional partner…
Leave a commentWhy Journal Why I picked up the habit of journaling mostly as a survival mechanism. If you’ve ever been locked into bad thinking loops like me, writing sometimes seems to help make the brain pretend that now the problem exists outside of it. Then I could trudge along the mud,…
Leave a commentMe whenever a 90s rock song I like comes on: The bass comes in first, dumdumdumdumdum, and my heartbeat would match it in time. A voice pierces the…voicelessness. I don’t understand sung words until I read them, and so all that colors songs for me is how rough the sounds…
Leave a commentOr maybe Why It’s So Hard to Blog Again. Yesterday, after getting evicted from Tony’s Estate over at Ruby Road in Ortigas and finding refuge in a random Family Mart, I got Paul and Tin into thinking about what shifted in the blogging landscape when we were in our twenties…
Leave a comment[Contains information about the genocide and violence in Cambodia which may be disturbing to survivors] I’m writing this mostly as a challenge, part grieving ritual, part wouldn’t it be weird if this were the post I restarted blogging with? And so here we are. I don’t take a lot of…
Leave a commentThe sadness of that reality–that other life you could have lived–whether it has existed in some form or not, is how little I could feel of it right here. We all have our little addictions, some more than most, but if you know the inexplicable pull of digital rabbit holes,…
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