(First posted August 21, 2011)

And so if you’re going to do it, Dante, and if you know what it means to the world and to you, especially, then I’ll have you know that I have your back. But if we can still avoid that turn of events, I will try. And if that means not seeing you ever again, I may have to do the right thing. But for now, there is this. You have to know.

The kagluyag brought me to their holding cell. What used to be billiards sticks are now long metal spears with fantastic ends, perfect for poking errant prisoners.

{ria} was not inside.

The largest kagluyag, which is to say the tallest human-shaped creature I have ever seen, stooped low enough to sniff the top of my head. Apparently I smell human. He started chuckling.

“Hindi namin kita ang nangyayari sa kalaunan. Subalit ito ang kapansin-pansin: handa kang isantabi ang sarili mong kaligayahan para sa taong ni hindi mo naman kadugo. Ano’ng dahilan?”

If you have ever heard Josh Groban sing, and felt an actual physical reaction to the sound of his high notes, you would know exactly what I mean when I say the sound of this creature’s voice touched me. But this time there was no love in it, or amazement, or relief. Terror is closer. But even in terror there was something beautiful and specific about the timbre of his voice.

“Kung alam ng mga tulad mo ang tunay na takbo ng mundong ito at ng utak ng mga tao, then you would know this is not at all strange.”

He laughed, a horrific sound that touched all corners of the universe.

“Hindi ko sinabing kakaiba ang ginagawa mo. Ang tanong ko ay bakit, sa partikular na pagkakataon na ito, ikaw ang aatras? Alam ko ang buong kasaysayan mo, Nirvana. Alam ko kung bakit ka lumipat ng kurso. Alam ko kung bakit ganun na lang ang pagtingin mo kay Dante. Alam ko kung bakit pinili mong hindi na hanapin ang nawawala mong kapatid. Ang hindi ko matanto, para sa isang taong paulit-ulit nagpupumiglas na kumawala sa makinarya ng tadhana, bakit hindi mo maintindihan na ito, ang pag-atras mo, ang mismong nasusulat?”

Something inside me wanted to die right there.