(First posted here.)

“The term hacker has such a bad connotation, I find it depressing.”

“Your talent, Keebs, is screaming I don’t belong in BAA! I’m a computer genius and I know it!”

“It’s just that, I’m not sure why we can’t use spreadsheets in class. This is bookkeeping! This won’t help me learn to talk stocks.”

“Maybe it would. How else would you know the right questions to ask when you start owning everything?”

“I read books. I do stuff. I have a blog.”

“Suit yourself. How are you?”

“I told you, I’m depressed. You know what’s worse than anything? Unrequited love.”

I laughed at this. “Worse than death, I hear.”

“Worse than anything, worse than a bloody breakup, worse than finding out you’ve been cheated. Because at least then real feelings were on the line. And by real feelings I mean feelings that drive people to action. Real. Empirical.”

“Empirical feelings. You know what oxymorons are, right?”

“What’s even worse than unrequited love? It’s having gotten to a point where you think you’re okay but then all it takes is a singular moment in Marketing class to tell you that no, you’re not over the girl yet, not by a long shot. But I mean, who does that? Who languishes in pain for three years?”

“No one, Keebs, which is why we should get you a girl soon.”

“I can’t just get a girl. That’s not how I roll. And don’t go telling me what to do, man, because your case has been around for five years.”

“Hey! What did I tell you about dragging in the cavalry? I don’t have a problem right now, Keebs. Don’t make it so I’ve been pining for years.”

“But you have, Dante. How you holding up?”

“You know me. I live in the present. Which is why I’m going to look for Nirvana today and get her some food. Are you coming?”