(First posted here.)

Comm 3 class, we were the oldest here. We had to bring in a famous personality to interview. I, of course, ever-loyal and perhaps as wonderfully self-absorbed as the rest of the future business moguls of this country (and by self-absorbed I mean that in the most scientific of ways, in that the only way for things to get done is for people to focus, unrelenting, every single moment of the day), brought Danilo Bustamante instead.

“They asked me to try and get someone influential here, a name you’d recognize, a person you’d know from TV, but then I thought, if the real lesson we’re getting at here is how to get ahead in these times, then old people will not be able to speak on behalf of this generation, won’t they?” I looked up sheepishly at our professor, “I have deep respect for the wisdom of old, but guys, this is our playground, who else should speak about the wonders of this decade than one of our own? And so with much pride, and perhaps a little uncertainty, I brought here to class someone who’s much like you, but not really, a guy with a mind as big as the sky, the amazing, the ever-eloquent, Danilo Bustamante.”

“Seriously, Keebs, that’s a little too much.”

“No, I am not in love with you,” I said, just to clear the air. I triggered the webcam recording remotely, from girl-named-Sarah’s seat. “This is going up live on Ding and Ferdinand Lancaster’s Search for the Great Uncanny, which has its own domain, just Google. Aaaand, go.”

I looked at Dante and thought about all the stupid questions in my cue cards. Suddenly, struck by the sharp, posionous arrow of malicious inspiration, I threw the cards out and went right in the zone with him. “Dante, you’ve been in BAA for two years when you yourself say you’re a drummer by heart and a military strategist by nature, why the hell are you still here?”

If Dante were shocked that I was going off-script, it didn’t show. Instead, what his face told me was So this is how we’re going to play this, then, and from thereonward I knew this day was going to be the best yet. “First let’s correct the three glaring errors in that line of questioning. One, that the things I like have nothing to do with my course. Two, that it matters that the things I like have nothing to do with my course. And three, that one must totally discount one’s feelings when making life-changing decisions like which college course to take. Let’s talk about this in more detail one by one, shall we?”

One day, I’d like to map exactly how Dante’s mind worked, how to get from zero to sixty in no time. In fact, I think I’m going to use this interview to do just that.